


Our Organization's Rules & Regulations

by soberloki



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Crack, Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-18
Updated: 2013-12-18
Packaged: 2018-01-05 00:35:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 301
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1087487
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/soberloki/pseuds/soberloki
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Order can get a little unruly at meetings. Sometimes Dumbledore has to lay down the law.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Order of the Phoenix

51\. To all Muggleborns and children of the 1960s: Monty Python recitations during Order meetings are not appreciated.

52\. While Charming Severus to sing, 'I have to push the pram-a-lot' in _basso profundo_ is undoubtedly amusing, it can only end in tears.

53\. _"Run away!"_ is not our new battle cry.

54\. Stop saying "Ni!" This means YOU, Remus.

55\. Any further questions regarding the airspeed of swallows will result in Arithmancy tutorials.

56\. Please stop re-enacting the Dead Parrot Sketch using Kreacher. It's rude.

57\. Taunting Harry Potter with couplets from _Brave Sir Robin_ is really quite cruel, Severus.


	2. Death Eaters Need a Firm Hand

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Death Eaters like to think the rules don't apply to them.

7\. Broomsticks bearing decals supporting Quidditch teams and local shops are not to be used on official business outings.

8\. Remember who we are. The elite of society do not make book on the fates of prisoners.

9\. Death Eater robes are black. They are not: canary yellow, pink, sea foam, orange, baby blue, nor ecru. Please refer to your Handbook, the section entitled Official Dress Code, to prevent further errors.

10\. All identifying characteristics should be fully concealed by robes and hoods in public. These include, but are not limited to: scars, bodily deformities, and one's long, silvery hair.


	3. Death Eaters Need An Even Firmer Hand

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You'd think a lot of these things wouldn't need to be spelled out. You'd be wrong.

71\. 'Yo Mama' is not clever banter. 

72\. Baked goods brought in for the purpose of celebrating birthdays may NOT be shaped like eyeglasses.

73\. Please refrain from amusing yourselves with 'talking hands'. It hurts the organization's image, Bella.

74\. Pinching Draco Malfoy in the vestibule is not appropriate workplace conduct, no matter how much he enjoys it.

75\. Re: Tuesday's meeting. It is not funny to refer to a visit by a certain family as 'getting Crabbes at the weekend'.

76\. Harry Potter is NOT 'kind of sweet, actually'.

77\. ‘Abracadabra’ will NOT be this year’s rally anthem. Stop asking.


End file.
